The Business of Suffering
The most real — the truest of all — is suffering.
There is no truth truer than that.
There is no reality more real than that.
Suffering is a solitary affair for most people.
Suffering is not posted in selfies on social media.
It can be covered in news stories, the lots of awful things that happen to other people who are unlucky or stupid. We are never going to be one of those people.
A cross-cultural perspective on suffering offers insights. Collectivistic cultures tend to have a shared sense of suffering while individualistic cultures, suffering is a private affair.
For those of faith the holy places with spiritual leaders might offer solace.
Seeking help is the most natural thing to do. In modern times, psychologists and such professionals have taken over the roles previously done by priests or spiritual healers. Of course for the lucky few still with good families a lot can be gained from within the family. Consolation, sympathy, healing.
But that’s not always the case. Humans did not evolve with an optimization for happiness but for pure survival of their genes (the main thesis of The Selfish Gene book) which is why people go through a lot and chase a lot but happiness is not the result.
What does not kill you makes you stronger but it also makes you less human and can leave one bitter and angry and less fit to be a functional member of the society.
I read somewhere that it’s suffering that people can easily bond over. Probably true. Sympathy is a natural human characteristic (for the large majority of people).
The business of suffering is everyone’s business. Understanding it, living with it, reflecting upon it, and seeking help with it, all is necessary to live a low-suffeirng life.
